So this is what happened…

In approximately a week’s time my beloved and I were set to pack our lives into suitcases, give our house keys to some select strangers in return for rent money, and move to the United States of America. Boston, in fact.

One however can not always foresee the visa application process not following its intended course.

Still our fact finding mission in November last year threw light on a number of interesting points of note I thought I’d share with you – just in case you yourself are about to embark on a similar endeavour.

1) At the car hire place, when offered a free upgrade to a mini van, take it. Your choice of car (although completely adorable and, if you think about it, really quite funny…) means your husband will look like this. All week.

Neil standing next to 'The Beast'

2) When an estate agent tries to sell you a ‘ranch house’, and your mind conjures up a whole host of romantic and whimsical images of skipping through pastures green whilst the cattle graze on yonder hillock – they really mean a wooden bungalow. On a main road. Next to a gas station.

Ranch House in Newton, MA.

3) Ovens are HUGE. Even the little ones. This one was used exclusively at Thanksgiving and Christmas and for the remaining period as useful storage for an overflow of crockery.  This is not unusual. (Point of note – this is the kitchen we removed from our old house in England and we have seen many times since. Did everyone own this kitchen at one time or another?).

The omnipresent kitchen

4) A ‘full disclosure’ is normally provided with every house viewing (or ‘showing’ as our friends across the pond would have it).

Expect information to be forthcoming

5) A garden or ‘yard’ is normally only considered the domain of people with pets or children. Otherwise a deck for the purpose of ‘grilling with friends’ is thought sufficient.

An example of a deck. Perhaps not the best.

6) If you’re posh you frequent Starbucks. If you wear a Burberry hat at a jaunty angle and drive a modified motor vehicle, Dunkin’ Donuts is considered your crib.

The sun shines on the Woburn ('Wooburn') Dunkin'

7)  If One is employed in public services, work must be carried out during daylight hours.

Please note: an actor was used for purposes of re-enactment. This photograph does not represent a true occurrence.

8 ) Unfortunately my dry wit was ill received as it transpires no one has ever heard of Duncan Goodhew.

Local Reading store

9) You can travel half way across the globe, but still end up right back where you started.

En route

10) See.

Welcome to Reading, MA.

Reading, MA. high street.

11) They even have the same newspaper…

The Reading Chronicle

12) Our mini adventure ended with a trip to the beach at sunset where we watched as the plane that would take us home landed, ate chips, and froze ourselves to death. Just like England really.

Plane coming in to land at Logan airport

True Brit enjoying some bracing sea air.

Only a little bit different.

What happened next

Someone asked me a little while ago what are my interests.

To be honest I don’t have very many that are consistent.

I quite enjoyed swimming for a while until a German Speedo wearer started regularly attending the same sessions as me and proved far too much of a distraction to attempt anything cardio-vascular. Unfortunately the Slimming World handbook doesn’t cover such things.

I have also tried my hand at horse riding, canoeing, sailing, gorge scrambling, aerobics, ‘Zumba’, painting, aromatherapy, pottery, archery, quad biking and glass blowing to name but a few extra curricular activities – all of which I thoroughly enjoyed but not enough to keep me ‘at it’ on a regular basis.

Sadly the only hobby I can really say I’ve stuck to and continued to derive deep personal joy from, is capturing moments like that photographed above where you just know the situation can’t end well. Indeed, moments after I hit the shutter button, the squirrel bit the man causing him to yelp so loudly it startled the chap behind him holding the camera who ended up sat in the flower bed. Meanwhile the lady to his left started to hyperventilate and between gasps was shouting ” You need shot, need shot!” (I couldn’t agree more, but our country needs tourism) and shortly after everyone was escorted away by a Park Ranger who told them off for being on the grass. Oh how I laughed!

I’ve started tagging my blogs. A sad little experiment now I do ‘Social Media’ for food and have since discovered that a few people find my blog after searching Google for ‘little but deep’.

I don’t think it’s safe for me to comment but that could be a different hobby entirely….

If life could be

If life could be a short walk to Barbara’s…

For a bargain or two…

I would be very happy. Of course if there was an offer of lunch…

I’d know where to go…

Then I’d walk it off with a pleasant stroll

And put the world to right with my Old Man…

Yes, I’d like belong to a place where the tree surgeons wave…

Where I could find my ghost

And dogs behave, although I don’t know if I’d have one with 6 legs.

Life would be perfectly twee

If only such a place existed.

An offer was put in on the house. Unsurprisingly it was rejected, but with the work required and the dodgy planning permission situation I think that offer will be our last.

The search continues.

I love

A cup of tea and a biscuit on a rainy afternoon.

My new blue shoes for £8

Adopted succulents (thank you Emma!) on my windowsill

Spent another great day with the girls at the Potting Shed and then Lainston House Hotel which is the most stunning of wedding venues! The talented Mr Whitmore also kindly joined us – can’t wait to see the (am sure) beautiful photos he’s taken for the Potting Shed blog which will be up and running soon and am very excited about! Good times.

The pyjamas went on at approximately 16.37, forgot to get anything proper out of the freezer so it’s omelettes for supper, now waiting for the Toy Boy to return home after painting a chimney and trying not to eat all the biscuits in the meantime.

Should we put an offer in on that house?

Fortunately, Unfortunately

 

Those who have ever watched Outnumbered will be familiar with the game ‘Fortunately, Unfortunately’ in which players take turns to tell a story using these prefixes. Today has very much felt like one of those days. I’m going for the one player version.

Fortunately the sun was shining!

Unfortunately only long enough for me to hang the washing out…

Fortunately most of it has managed to dry since!

Unfortunately I have inadvertently created a new generation of sock orphans…

Fortunately in a jacket pocket I finally found the piece of paper for the ring cleaning service!

Unfortunately in the meantime I have become allergic to both my wedding and engagement ring…

Fortunately we have found a house, in budget we really quite like!

Unfortunately for the Toy Boy it is only 3 houses away from his in-laws…

We view it on Friday, let discussions commence.

This isn’t something you cover in marriage classes.

Playing in the Potting Shed

I am at the moment very privileged to be working with the extremely talented Emma Lappin, and despite being the subject of much renovation, last weekend I was allowed in the ‘Potting Shed’ to see where the magic happens!

Emma is quite cutting edge in her approach to floristry and occasionally employs the services of resident stunt riders to contrast the beauty of her floral designs with a gritty urban vibe.

I think it works.

Guest post

The one who normally writes the blog claims to be otherwise occupied, so I’ve been asked to fill in with some kind of ‘interest piece’. Not sure what she’s expecting, and I wasn’t told this was a working holiday, so you’ll make do.

I’m with ‘the daughter’ this week for reasons unknown, though at least the chickens don’t appear to have followed me. I can only hope they will be using this time wisely to learn to EAT THEIR OWN BANANA!

So here’s ‘interesting’. I’ve been a UK citizen for over thirty years now after coming over from Burma in the ’70s to crew on the Bowie Tour. The days were long and the drink was good, but there came a time when I saw a reflection of my shell in marabou trim and I thought ‘enough is enough’. I left the road the following week and then landed a job in overnight logistics (short haul). I stayed there until my retirement in 1981, found myself a nice little detached ‘batch pad’, hot tub, wi-fi, patio, been deliriously happy there ever since. Until the chickens moved in.

If only I were vegetarian simply for ethical reasons.

Off now to Ladbrokes to put money on a couple of dead certs – the Hare on at 3/1 and Helen Milligan to win ‘the Apprentice’ at – 9/1. Fine behind mind.

Later people!

The dangers of being home alone

There are certain dangers associated with being left in one’s house on ones own. This includes (although please note this list is not exhaustive) :

1) The potential for severe dehydration due to absence of resident tea maker

2) Chronic delay in the removal of nightwear

3) The potential for an extended period in the bathroom during which time an experiment to seek alternative uses for shaving foam presents itself as a worthy and compelling challenge

4) Vertigo from an expedition to the loft in which to locate a reversible jumper

5) An addiction to programming whereby someone is either building a house, buying a house, selling a house, decorating a house, auctioning a house, buying something to go in a house, auctioning or selling something from within their house, or is called ‘House’ (I do like Hugh Laurie).

6) Causing oneself an allergic reaction from trying to de-limescale and sanitise the porcelain simultaneously

7) Temporary blindness due to misdirection of squirter button on iron

8 ) Relapsing into to single behaviours including the preparation of alternative foodstuffs

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Wishing you a pleasant bank holiday, and if you happen to be spending it alone, stay safe.

Aspirations for a twee corner

There is very little point in denying that my vision of heaven is one of twee – cream teas on the lawn, bunting billowing in amongst some apple trees, (ideally mute) children fishing for minnows in the stream, and cow parsley growing in between the mechanics of an artistically placed item of agricultural equipment.

Unfortunately I think I am a little way off from achieving my ‘celestial vision’ at the moment, but I do have very serious plans for creating a twee corner in my garden. Indeed the hunt has already begun for suitable artefacts on which to place potted white Diascia, native Bluebells, Lavendula, Hydrangea, and perhaps a G&T thrown in for good measure. Heaven wouldn’t be heaven without a spirit mixer. I’d probably consider hell if I knew they served Gordon’s.

Today’s featured Twee Corner is in Beacon Hill in Boston, MA which itself is the epitome of what I live for. It took everything I had to get on that plane. Immigration has a lot to thank ‘Duty Free’ for.

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