Just down the road from my office is a little cafe called the Brown Bag.

Sometimes – although normally on a Friday – the youngest members of the office decamp here and we enjoy a whole solitary hour in the comfort of the big brown leather sofas, putting the world to right over a luxurious strawberry milkshake.

Except me, since I can only enjoy anything dairy now in moderation, so I make do with a tea.

You see, apparently one of my ‘enzymes’ has gone missing.

The local constabulary since however have told me “it is not a police matter”.

Deeply disappointing.