Guest post

Posted on June 2, 2011 by Amy

The one who normally writes the blog claims to be otherwise occupied, so I’ve been asked to fill in with some kind of ‘interest piece’. Not sure what she’s expecting, and I wasn’t told this was a working holiday, so you’ll make do.

I’m with ‘the daughter’ this week for reasons unknown, though at least the chickens don’t appear to have followed me. I can only hope they will be using this time wisely to learn to EAT THEIR OWN BANANA!

So here’s ‘interesting’. I’ve been a UK citizen for over thirty years now after coming over from Burma in the ’70s to crew on the Bowie Tour. The days were long and the drink was good, but there came a time when I saw a reflection of my shell in marabou trim and I thought ‘enough is enough’. I left the road the following week and then landed a job in overnight logistics (short haul). I stayed there until my retirement in 1981, found myself a nice little detached ‘batch pad’, hot tub, wi-fi, patio, been deliriously happy there ever since. Until the chickens moved in.

If only I were vegetarian simply for ethical reasons.

Off now to Ladbrokes to put money on a couple of dead certs – the Hare on at 3/1 and Helen Milligan to win ‘the Apprentice’ at – 9/1. Fine ~~behind~~ mind.

Later people!

Rolling in the deep

Posted on May 23, 2011 by Amy

Despite trying, my middle aged gene seems beyond repression and so this week I shall be glued to Alan at Chelsea. The previews on the BBC so far have been very intriguing, and although perhaps a bit too early in the day to pass judgement, and I understand that the man has a reputation to uphold, I already feel Diarmuid’s pink pod is a little unnecessary.

This weekend was a rather jolly one spent with friends enjoying sunshine and beer in the garden. The Toy Boy and I even found a property that caught our eye and we spent a good half an hour or so inspecting it’s fine appointments. Unfortunately we felt we had to leave after our host was asked “Who are your grown up friends playing in Jodie’s Wendy House”? I shall be nipping back for the gingham drapes.

On Sunday we decided to extend our culinary repertoire to include roasted rabbit, which was a bit more expensive than our normal choice of classic poultry but we thought worth a try. Cooked to perfection, browned and seasoned beautifully it was served with Moroccan style couscous, roasted vegetables and a hunk of wholegrain loaf, and (as pictured) looked thoroughly delightful…

but tasted like chicken.

So far…so good?

Posted on January 13, 2011 by Amy

Isn’t she a beaut?

I have to admit to being a bit of a closet diary fanatic. In fact the only thing that makes the cold dark days of January marginally bearable is the excited anticipation of getting my hands on a scrummy new book, all leather bound and full of crispy white pages with useful reminders of the pinnacles of one’s year already written in it. Lord knows I would be forever missing out on ‘international youth tobacco abstinence day’ otherwise.

This year’s diary like others before is already stuffed full of my random effects – little notes I write to myself, receipts, movie stubs, recipe cards, post-its with phone numbers on and a whole load of other random things that just appeal to me. Another habit I seem to carry on each year is keeping a record of certain events that are of particular note. I have to say that I had every hope that 2011 would turn out to be a remarkable year, but I hadn’t counted on collecting so many jottings already. Below is a refined selection:

Wednesday 5th January : Fell in wheelie bin having rescued mistakenly discarded tin of pledge (lavender). Recovered by John next door after he thought ‘the foxes were at it again’. Made lasagne for dinner

Friday 7th January: Ate last of nice cinnamon Christmas biscuits. Found Ryvita more edible if coated in nutella. Doesn’t work on cornflakes. Reminder: Renew Gym..

Saturday 8th January: Picked up PVR from John Lewis depot after stressful navigation of one way system only to fall victim to arrogant BMW driver stealing parking space. Dog on walk peed up expensive alloys. Karma.

Monday 10th January: Sold blue and white dress from Phase Eight on eBay. Bit too revealing. Posted to Essex at 17:12 – Recorded Delivery.

Tuesday 11th January: Picked Neil up from station in pyjamas – definitely got away with it. Nice man from no.14 who looks like Tim Henman took in wheelie bin for us. Suspect neighbours have been talking.

Wednesday 12th January : NB after visiting a public convenience make sure dress is fully pulled down under winter coat to avoid coffee shop embarrassment. Reminder: Order new ‘control’ tights. Set PVR to record new ‘Relocation’.

Thursday 13th January: Got rust off bathroom tile with arm and hammer enamel restore and Immac.

……..I use ‘remarkable’ in the loosest sense of the word.

I’ll work on it.

Halfway update and a new obsession with root vegetables

Posted on July 7, 2008 by Amy

Well here I am, at the half way mark of when my dissertation needs to be written by, and needless to say half a dissertation has not yet been written. Still, this was to be expected as anything even remotely related to me always takes the most unlikely of courses, so I would be a fool to think this would be any different. Indeed it has been a somewhat turbulent time since the end of May with joys and sadness in fairly equal amounts.

At the end of May we celebrated Neil’s Mum’s birthday with another trip to Vinopolis (which is becoming a bit of a favourite haunt of ours now), where I fell in love with a £40 bottle of Chateauneuf du Pape. Needless to say we had to part company at the ‘tasting table’, but I hope one day we will meet again.

Throughout June work on the garden has been in full swing with Neil and I having finally established gound level, and are very pleased to have taken our final van’s worth of weeds and rubble to the tip. Our modest patch of earth still does rather represent ‘the Somme’ with an added hint of ‘Auschwitz’, following the discovery of a barbed wire overhang belonging to a neighbour. I am hoping a well placed clematis may help resolve this issue, although I also have my eye on some bamboo we could use for screening that, when cut and dried, can also be fashioned into the most terrific pea shooter! In a sense this will be killing two birds with one stone – although it is not birds I intend to target with my hand crafted device – but rather next doors cat that keeps peeing on my alchemilla mollis.

The middle/end of June was largely consumed by some very sad news, as my favourite uncle Phil lost his life to Lymphoma. Needless to say it has been a bit of a rubbish time for everyone, and none of us can quite believe he is no longer here as his was such a big character. In true Godfrey style however (my Mum’s side of the family) he got (and quoting the vicar) “a bloody good send off” as the church and get together after the funeral was packed with people wanting to share their memories of Phil . My Mum in particular recalled accounts of being left up trees and locked in the chicken shed by her big brother! Be good up there Phil – I know Granny won’t think you too old to give you a good clip around the ear…..!

And now it is July, it is raining, and I can’t believe that midsummer day has passed and its all downhill again from here! Still, our holiday is booked and so I am not short of things to look forward to, including the handing in of my dissertation and the receipt of my freedom. In the meantime I am taking stock, and as recent events have taught me, I have begun appreciating the everyday as you don’t know what might happen the next. With this state of mind, food shopping has again taken on an additional amusement value, in particular the root vegetable aisle.

Now I am not sure whether this is a recent occurence, whether the EU have relaxed their rules regarding vegetation perfection, or whether for comedy value those hard working polish people trudging away in the fields of deepest darkest Norfolk have let a few slip through, but amongst the box of sweet potatoes I have recently uncovered some interesting finds:

Further proof I am not yet a grown up…

Cleavage shot….

I fear this may turn in to a weekly feature.

I think it’s a sign

Posted on April 14, 2008 by Amy

I love our basement at work – it is an awesome place and I’ll use almost any excuse to visit its maze of secret passages, gloomy corridors, curious cubby holes and also for a chance to peer at the enormous safe housed down there with its supersized door and chainmail security gate more fitting to a chamber of gringrotts. On my latest adventure to this hidden world (a mission to place some of the overflowing files from our ‘paperless office’ into the archive store) I came upon a room I remarkably hadn’t discovered until now, hidden behind a faux wall and mountain of cardboard crates filled with dusty copies of old committee reports.

Now normally curiosity gets the better of me, and if I have the opportunity I will sneak a look at what is behind the mysterious closed doors. On this one this particular occasion however I was stopped in my tracks by the description of the room’s contents marked upon a sign…

It looks like someone is either having toilet problems or we are taking the prospect of cultivating GM foods too far.

Either way – I think there are some things best left undiscovered.

Life is out there

Posted on April 3, 2008 by Amy

I have been experiencing a strange sensation of late in which I have lost all concept of time. I only realised it was the beginning of April this week after a colleague cunningly hid a whoopee cushion on my chair….

You see currently my life is organised only by university weeks and when assignments are due. I have no idea what month it is, year it is, day it is or even if I continue to exist as a real time human being. I only know that we are on ‘Week 9′ and that my thesis presentation has to be done for 10 days time along with a whole bunch of other stuff filed under the growing pile of ‘things to do at some point’.

This strict and strangely timeless timetable has however had other consequences in that several painful sacrifices have had to be made as to my activities. This is why ALBD has been sadly neglected for so long and why I have worn Neil’s socks to work twice this week. There does however come a point when you need to break free of the monotony of everyday life, revive your soul and experience the world that exists outside of Planning Policy Statement 3.

It is therefore, following a much anticipated pay check, I allowed myself 1.5 hours on Tuesday afternoon (‘Week 8′ ) to assult Reading in a bid to find some summer clothes, just in case England decided to have one this year. Now shopping is not usually my most favourite of tasks as I am known to suffer horrendous pedestrian rage, have issues with shop assistants that say hello as you walk in the store but fail to open a till when the queue is out the door and half way past Sainsbury’s, and typically have to search every store to find anything that:

a) Slims my calves

b) Flatters my robust frame, and most importantly

c) Swooshes

I like clothes that swoosh.

By some miraculous marvel however, the gods were shining on me on Tuesday and I hit gold with the Fat Face ‘bargain rail’. Hoorah! I picked up a pair of very comfortable shoes, a useful top that I think will go very nicely with my new blue necklace (you know the one), and a skirt that – you guessed it – swooshes! To top this happy experience and much needed respite away from books and computer screens, the legend that is Fat Face also provided me a useful reminder surreptitiously printed at the bottom of one of its labels:

Life is out there

Something I have to admit to losing sight of recently and you know what, after ‘Week 22′ when all the work is done…

I must just go and live it.

A Friday Night Post

Posted on February 16, 2008 by Amy

Well, it’s the end of the week and I would be lying to say if the situation has improved.

I am sitting here on a Friday night at 22:01 reading ‘Participation or Pathology: Contradictory Tensions in Area Based Policy’.

What is more, Neil leaves for America on Sunday, so instead of reading my Planning Policy Journal in the company of another human being who I can relay the odd snippet or factual gem to every so often - it is likely that I will instead strike an unnerving bond with the office pot plant.

I’ll be sure to keep you posted.

In the meantime I have decided to leave you with ‘a week in pictures’ taken from my mobile phone. It is a gimmic that appears to be popular on the BBC website, and god knows ALBD could do with a bit of livening up at the moment, so here we go.

I think it tells a rather tragic tale…

Subject 1: I was fascinated to see that a robin had decided to buy its cillit bang and homous multi snack pots at the same time as me. Squint enough and its the black blob on the strip light.

Subject 2: In the depths of dispair at work, and whilst waiting for the kettle to boil in order to make myself a peppermint tea, I fashioned myself a ‘flapper-esque’ headress with the aid of some kitchen towel and the reflection of an adjustable bracket wall mounted microwave. A most unflattering photo.

Subject 3: Oh – and there was a rainbow.

Subject 4: Thursday hit another low point, so I once again sought comfort in another sort of millinery, this time on a Valentines theme (notice the carefully crafted hearts from fax copying paper) fashioned out of the motoring section of the Wokingham Times.

Subject 5: It is with great excitement we have ordered a new bathroom with which to replace the duck egg blue suite we currently suffer. This was me making sure I would not be restricted by the width of our new tub. Unfortunately ours won’t be coming with the whirlpool function. My only alternative is to up my intake of fibre….

Subject 6: On the same outing I found this beauty in COSTCO. I am lobbying Neil to get the version in kingsize.

Subject 7: Ok, so this was taken at Christmas, but its inclusion is justifiable for the following reasons:

1) Its an excuse to post a picture of Neil being silly and wearing tassle on his ears.

2) A warning that this is what will happen to anyone exposed to me for too long.

That is all.

When even dull is interesting

Posted on February 13, 2008 by Amy

It is extremely difficult to find words that will not bore you, when in fact all that I have to say bores myself.

About three years ago, whilst doing some work experience in a planning office, a wise and greatly respected senior planner called Jane Gibson took me to one side warned me:

”Amy - you realise that if you decide to be a Planner you will become boring. It won’t be your fault, its just what happens”.

She then gave me some incredibly invaluable advice…

“Planning is boring for anyone who is not a Planner. When you find yourself about to say something about Planning just stop and think – ‘no one wants so know this’! People don’t care that a telephone mast is the wrong shade of grey, that S106 money would be better spent on a roundabout than widening a pavement, that you don’t need planning permission for a dropped kerb unless its on an A Road, and that solar panels are largely acceptable unless facing a highway”.

And she was right…

Indeed, the one person I have significantly let this rule slip with is leaving on Sunday for a fortnight’s holiday in Colorado.

I really don’t blame him.

Unfortunately as I am 6 months away from finishing a masters degree, and with deadline on top of deadline I dream, eat, and live Planning and find it very difficult to hold a conversation at the moment without slipping the ‘P’ word in somewhere. In fact I have become so incredibly boring even I saw an ex colleague in town earlier in the week who, having spotted me on approach, waved hesitantly and then crossed the road….

Furthermore, I have become my aptitude to be at all interesting hit new lows yesterday as, whilst eating lunch, I sat with genuine interest reading the ingredients of my ‘Be Good to Your Insides - Spicy Chilli Bite Sized Rice Cakes’ and actually noted one of these ingredients down.

Yes, you have read correctly.

You see, I had not heard of E621 before and thought it would be quite fun to ‘google’ it when I got home.

This is what I am reduced to.

On the flip side having very minimal social interaction or any sort of respectable social life has taught me to appreciate the simpler things in life. The programme an ‘Island Parish’ for example (Tuesdays BBC2 8:00pm) has become a firm favourite - documenting the life and times of the residents of Scilly with interesting anecdotes from the local boat driver who claims that you are unable to buy buttons on the Islands (this sort of drama is all I can handle). I also found myself quite overcome this week on our trip to Sainsburys when I found out that you can buy compostable bin bags and that cotton wool was cheaper if you bought it from the baby aisle.

I have now however moved on to that quite awful stage of personal dullness where I find delight in other people’s misfortunes….

Which is why I found this lady having to reverse down a one way street so appealing…

So much so I felt the need to take a photograph to mark the occasion.

So I will leave you here with the knowledge of how sad I have become.

I’ll be back when I find myself mildly more interesting.

P.S. Tony I am ever so glad you like your ALBD prize. When we finally finish the garden I feel you may have to be the guest of honour at our ‘Outdoor Space Warming BBQ’. Perhaps you could even bring the ribbon to cut?

A Quick Catch Up

Posted on February 4, 2008 by Amy

It is time for a quick catch up.

Unfortunately Uni work, work work, and the little life lived in between appears to be all I can cope with at the moment, so in an effort to get down all I would like to say but in a more time efficient manner, I rely once again on the often irritating yet largely convenient bullet point;

The picture above is a duck in the Mayor’s car parking space at work. In order to make our jobs more lively we are seeing how many ducks we can get in the Wokingham Town Centre Master Plan without the Chief Executive noticing. This one was rejected for its indiscreet nature. Others are just genius!
Tony hopefully you are now in reciept of your prize? Sorry it has taken so long, there were some quality control issues.
I’m pondering that I am probably more excited about Neil’s birthday on Wednesday than perhaps he is.
I was given an assignment on Tuesday that is due in next week. Therefore I deem all lecturers as evil.
I am seriously contemplating becoming an Alpacca Farmer or making paper hats professionally.
Sometimes all you need is a gin and tonic and a play list of songs you can just sing your heart out to.

I’m doing the latter right now.

I need something to keep the energy up!

See you when I surface next.

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