The dangers of being home alone

There are certain dangers associated with being left in one’s house on ones own. This includes (although please note this list is not exhaustive) :

1) The potential for severe dehydration due to absence of resident tea maker

2) Chronic delay in the removal of nightwear

3) The potential for an extended period in the bathroom during which time an experiment to seek alternative uses for shaving foam presents itself as a worthy and compelling challenge

4) Vertigo from an expedition to the loft in which to locate a reversible jumper

5) An addiction to programming whereby someone is either building a house, buying a house, selling a house, decorating a house, auctioning a house, buying something to go in a house, auctioning or selling something from within their house, or is called ‘House’ (I do like Hugh Laurie).

6) Causing oneself an allergic reaction from trying to de-limescale and sanitise the porcelain simultaneously

7) Temporary blindness due to misdirection of squirter button on iron

8 ) Relapsing into to single behaviours including the preparation of alternative foodstuffs

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Wishing you a pleasant bank holiday, and if you happen to be spending it alone, stay safe.

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